Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this and many other concepts - here on Substack!
Your writing resonates with my kind of thinking in both the “feeling” and academic domains.
I appreciate your willingness to share with us what is going on within (and, an openness to hear what others, also, think) as you wrestle with important life issues.
I was in a graduate program that put a lot of emphasis on the effort of being proactive instead reactive.
Wisely, you are looking down the road at important, long-term, issues -like love and marriage - and attempting to develop”parameters. . .yes, boundaries. . . to operate within - a pro-active approach.
Scripture speaks of the importance having a vision (Prov. 29:18, Hab. 2:2, KJV). A vision gives us focus and direction.
Considering the spectrum from the “more quiet and deep thinker” to “loyal, affectionate, expressive, golden retriever” or some where between - you know (through the process you having been going through- in viewing, reading, and analyzing) some of the kind of traits you are looking for in a spouse, life partner.
The bottom line, though as we learn from Samuel when he went to Jesse’s family to anoint the next king (I Sam 16:12, NIV), it is important to hear (from the Lord), “this is the one.”
Just some thoughts, for what they are worth. . . to you!
hi, dan! thank you so much for sharing your encouragement and insight as well. i greatly appreciate you taking the time to comment and read my work. i value highly what my readers think and how it connects with them! i appreciate your reference to 1 samuel; that encourages me greatly and can only point me toward the Lord's providence.
I am in love with a man who convinced me to want kids.
I cannot tell other women this.
I tell them that I actually gave up the whole childless lesbian thing because what we had was just sooo special, that it just doesn't matter when you find the right one. It's all lies.
I fell in love with someone who challenged all my wrong assumptions about myself. Someone who sat and patiently listened while I laid everything I'd ever thought bare, then pulled the loose threads of lies I was telling myself until my carefully constructed personality fell back into a more comfortable shape.
And if I tell anyone else this, they'd be scandalized. They'd call it abuse, red flags, everything under the sun. I think this is the first time I'm really talking about this, and I'm almost certainly rambling, but something about this struck a chord.
Because a man told me no, pointed out where I was lying to myself and where I was running away from things, with complete steadiness and patience.
It's been almost 6 years since I, a teenager then, felt the foundations of my safe place crumbling and decided to jump in. We're getting married in October, and we've made each other better in every way.
And I still act like it all just happened, like it was my idea all along, because I don't want people to look at him differently.
September Santiago,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this and many other concepts - here on Substack!
Your writing resonates with my kind of thinking in both the “feeling” and academic domains.
I appreciate your willingness to share with us what is going on within (and, an openness to hear what others, also, think) as you wrestle with important life issues.
I was in a graduate program that put a lot of emphasis on the effort of being proactive instead reactive.
Wisely, you are looking down the road at important, long-term, issues -like love and marriage - and attempting to develop”parameters. . .yes, boundaries. . . to operate within - a pro-active approach.
Scripture speaks of the importance having a vision (Prov. 29:18, Hab. 2:2, KJV). A vision gives us focus and direction.
Considering the spectrum from the “more quiet and deep thinker” to “loyal, affectionate, expressive, golden retriever” or some where between - you know (through the process you having been going through- in viewing, reading, and analyzing) some of the kind of traits you are looking for in a spouse, life partner.
The bottom line, though as we learn from Samuel when he went to Jesse’s family to anoint the next king (I Sam 16:12, NIV), it is important to hear (from the Lord), “this is the one.”
Just some thoughts, for what they are worth. . . to you!
jd
hi, dan! thank you so much for sharing your encouragement and insight as well. i greatly appreciate you taking the time to comment and read my work. i value highly what my readers think and how it connects with them! i appreciate your reference to 1 samuel; that encourages me greatly and can only point me toward the Lord's providence.
I am in love with a man who convinced me to want kids.
I cannot tell other women this.
I tell them that I actually gave up the whole childless lesbian thing because what we had was just sooo special, that it just doesn't matter when you find the right one. It's all lies.
I fell in love with someone who challenged all my wrong assumptions about myself. Someone who sat and patiently listened while I laid everything I'd ever thought bare, then pulled the loose threads of lies I was telling myself until my carefully constructed personality fell back into a more comfortable shape.
And if I tell anyone else this, they'd be scandalized. They'd call it abuse, red flags, everything under the sun. I think this is the first time I'm really talking about this, and I'm almost certainly rambling, but something about this struck a chord.
Because a man told me no, pointed out where I was lying to myself and where I was running away from things, with complete steadiness and patience.
It's been almost 6 years since I, a teenager then, felt the foundations of my safe place crumbling and decided to jump in. We're getting married in October, and we've made each other better in every way.
And I still act like it all just happened, like it was my idea all along, because I don't want people to look at him differently.