The past three months have been a whirlwind. Jesus has shown Himself to be so faithful. Try as I will in this article, there are no words to express, no love deep enough to represent the overwhelming ocean of mercy and fields of grace that follow me. Truly, my cup runneth over, and over, and over.
There is a song that follows me like a cool breeze to my heart that oft burns too hot, named by the wonderfully talented Amanda Cook: Water Under the Bridge. This entire album, House On a Hill I highly recommend, although not all of the songs I entirely agree with theologically. It is a balm to my soul. I write out the lyrics below—
To the water, under the bridge, I’ll bring my heartache and my brokenness There I’ll let it go, watch it float out to the sea To the water waiting for me I’ll bring my judgements, all my offense I’ll leave my weapons and walls of defense I’ll surrender now I’m learning how to let love Into the chaos inside of me In the water, under the bridge I will find my will to forgive There is life and death in my breath Under my skin Some of have died here, but I choose to live.
Psalm 23 has been written upon my heart for the past several months, since returning from a retreat that I attended in Lookout Mountain, Georgia. Two lines in particular, have replayed like a melody in my mind: He maketh me to lie down in green pastures and my cup runneth over. Unseen, quietly, in the early morn hours and late watches of the night, He has led my soul to pastures of growth and grace. Fields stretch out before me where I can see manifested His full beauty and pleasure in watching me cultivate a relationship with Him, enduring all hardship, running the race that is set before me, as St. Paul states.
Oh, how He loves us. Even as I feel my cup drained dry, He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again (see Annie Johnson Flint’s hymn entitled ‘Giveth’). I was re-listening to Wild at Heart’s podcast this morning, and was pierced with a truth that I had perhaps forgotten or buried: He desires our full surrender, and for myself, that seems to be walking with Him in deep recesses of dark places where I would flee from, if given the chance. Healing upon healing is taking place within my very soul, and oh, it pains me. But I could not be with Jesus Christ lest I followed Him fully, and He leads me through the valley so that He may restore my soul on the other side. Surrender is allowing myself to be uprooted that I may be placed by streams that give eternal life and will never leave me dissatisfied.
Breaking agreements with the Enemy such as Christ has left me bereft; that He is no more present in my life; that He does not desire to complete unto Himself all good things He has begun and that I myself must rewrite the play; that He does not care for my suffering.
But my heart must repeat the truths that He speaks in the Holy Scriptures—
Christ is never far. He neither abandons nor forsakes in our hour of need.
Christ is present in the past, present, and future. My circumstances cannot waylay Him from running to my rescue.
Christ, as Sustainer of the very breath that goes in and out of my body, is the Author who, once He has begun that Good Story, will be faithful to complete it unto the day of Jesus Christ’s return.
Christ, who wept at the tomb of Lazarus and wept at the lostness of Jerusalem, weeps with me in every season.
Promises, all, from which flow living waters of life. This is what it is to live in the Wilderness World, and yet choose to cultivate Eden in our hearts. Truth is the wellspring from which all becomes what is is born to be. Joy, peace, contentment, and a mind that is already resting in the Paradise that is not yet here, what a symphony! What a Grand Story to play a small and humble part in!
Christ woos, beckons, leads us into complete union with Him. Glory to God! May He who crafted Paradise for humanity give us the wisdom to impart that Paradise on Earth whilst we have that precious gift called Time.
Jesus, the captivating Lover of our whole entire being, transform us all into your immaculate image. May you condescend to offer courage to us to follow you into waters that we must have faith to tread upon without any foreknowledge of what lies before us. Ultimate grace proceeds ultimate surrender. In this season, I am learning this lesson in all of its heart-piercing reality. Yet, truth is a double-edged sword and to walk in the True, the Good, and the Beautiful is the calling we as Christians must uphold, and indeed, are blessed to be able to do.
May Jesus be with us as we go against the tide in this Wilderness Wandering.
Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. - Philippians 1v6
Thank you for refreshing my heart and soul reminding me of our Great Shepherd and lover of our souls. You are truly a gift to us from our beloved Shepherd!