Eternity is waiting, child
saturday musings #3
One thing I have desired of the Lord,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord,
And to inquire in His temple. - Psalm 27v4
“I wish with all my being I could see Him face to face, just for a moment. Not so I can ask Him my questions, not so I can attain something. But just for Him to rest His hand on top my head and be known, seen, embraced by Him, would be enough.”
I’ve written before about Eden, sehnsucht — a divine desire within that cannot be cured by our present finite state —, eternity, longing. Here I am, musing upon this never-ending topic again, desperately searching for words that could communicate this piercing ache I feel, almost minute by minute.
That quote above is the journal entry I wanted to capture and expound on here.
There comes a time in every Christian’s life where he would do anything (or almost everything) just to have his faith made sight. Oh, how the heart yearns painfully for a time where tears are wiped away and we may see the kind eyes of the Savior in all of their Realness.
Every desire in which I have placed upon God’s creations has not yet been found to quench my soul. And even as I know intuitively that none will ever reach the innermost parts of my being, the search vainly continues. Perhaps this is the greatest trouble human beings face: living as if the Kingdom not yet here is already arrived and present. That we may dwell now in the house of the Lord, yet our hearts know we were made for more, even as we cry out for restoration and fulfillment.
Yet, our blessings overflow like milk and honey.
Love is a rose but you better not pick it
It only grows when it's on the vine
A handful of thorns and you'll know you've missed it
You lose your love when you say the word mine.- Neil Young
Bounty that proceeds from the Father’s hand is Love incarnate. Love cannot be grasped onto, selfishly sought after, in our greed hoarded. But everyday, we grasp, grasp, grasp—do we not?
The plenty the Father lovingly gifts cannot be made more than what it was made to be—created pleasure for His created beings. Created bounty cannot create fulfillment in created beings, because the created bounty itself is made to point us back to the Creator. Every urge that is temporarily quieted ultimately resounds even louder than before when we attempt to wring out of Heavenly gifts every bit of fast-acting contentment it offers.
But what if I were to admire, water, and refresh the soil of the garden gifts He has rained upon me in this incredibly short lifespan?
Rediscovering my longing not for Heaven as a destination, but as a Person—it has altered my eyes to gaze upon the Cross at which I kneel, and not past it. So often in this lifetime, a Christian can be kneeling at the foot of the Cross of Christ, but not looking directly at it—but rather beyond, to what He offers further, as if His own presence weren’t enough to satisfy our souls.
In my many years of being raised Christian, I think I began to look past Christ, rather seeking Him that I might find what I desired. I recently sat down and committed to reading the short treatise by Lewis on the grief he experienced at his beloved wife’s passing and he says this,
But then of course I know perfectly well that He can’t be used as a road. If you’re approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you’re not really approaching Him at all…Lord, are these your real terms? Can I meet H. {meaning his wife} again if only I learn to love you so much that I don’t care whether I meet her or not? - A Grief Observed
Prior to the above, Lewis speaks on ‘meeting’ his wife in everyday moments, seeing her in all the familiar places that he used to tread, hearing her in conversations, noting her presence through her absence. He muses on how much he desires to meet her real self and not simply dwell on faded memories of her.
Cultivation over suffocation of the gracious gifts of God is the key to enjoying their healing powers and restorative joy. What will be will be, I’ve heard a friend say. Easier said than done, I know. But we ought we to at least rest in this truth, allowing it to slowly form how we view every precious moment of time, which in and of itself is a gift?
Hopefully, the numerous Lewis quotes won’t turn you away, but regardless, I insert some more L wisdom,
If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.
Nothing amiss can come from riveting our eyes on the Cross of Christ and what it represents: His Kingdom that is coming and is here already. No blessing will be bypassed or forgotten, no action wrongly committed, no word misspoken or mistaken, when our whole being radiates longing for Eden. There is Life Abundant to be found when abiding upon the Vine of Christ’s flesh and blood is the sole aim of human existence. When we are intent upon being little Christs walking about, then our cups overflow to water the parched soil of the Wilderness that we wander in as pilgrims.
The less that we are intent on receiving, the more that we can receive. Grasping hands are unable to hold what open hands can.
It is the difference between the anxiety of watching the water drain away through fingers clenched,
and a person that knows water is abundant, and so allows it to flow through their hands freely.
Willingness for abundance to come from God’s hands enables for us—for me—to thank Him, come Hell or high-water. Instead of demanding what I think I have earned or ought to be given, I lift hands high in humility when blessing comes in any form, whether it be expected or not, because I have done nothing at all to warrant such bounteous plenty.
Job’s praise echoes freshly in my heart,
“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;
Blessed be the name of the Lord.”
With my longing for Jesus and His loving embrace, I can rest knowing my faith shall be sight, and so, my earthly sight now is fixed with Eternal faith upon His Love.
Glory to God.